Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Approaching the moment

Image of a Rooster in Cambodia. Is this a fighting cock or a chicken?
Dear Gentle Reader,

An experiment. 

Fiction in 55 words. 


To see if my verbosity is terminal.


Approaching the moment

His heart beats like a tight drum.

Make it count.

Blood surges so hard his hair pounds.

Make it count.

Adrenaline racing, he pushes through people.

Make it count.

He enters the ring; hard eyes surround, abound.

Make it count.

The crowd wants blood.

Make it count.

"Janice... it's Tim ...I could help with Algebra..."


debra said...

This is a great story, Chris. It really was like that, wasn't it.

SweetTalkingGuy.. said...

Cool, like the repetition, not sure if there's something sexual going on here, (perish the thought) but I'll take it at face value.

Like the concept of 55, but to me fifty five syllables would (might) work better. Anyhow, well done!

Heidelweiss said...

It's fabbity fab!

Cloudia said...

Chris: Well done with an Akelamalu twist! Great photo too.
Fair warning you are "mentioned" in my raving thursday post.
Aloha Dear Scribe & Co.

Barbara Martin said...

Here I thought after seeing the photo you were writing about a horrid cockfight.

You did well with the 55.

Sepiru Chris said...


If you remember similar emotions then the story was successful. Thanks for the praise.


Acting on your internal sexual/romantic hopes and dreams (I remember everything being mixed up in a blaze of hormones in junior hight and senior high), is pretty sexual, and scary, and boundary crossing.

55 syllables. Yikes. Sounds tough. This was, I think, a one-off for me. But, 55 syllables would be challenging too. And, thanks for the encouragement.




Thank you very much. Its Friday, and I hope to head over soon. Life has been pressing and crammed this week. And last. I would like to take that calming break that visits to you spiral into.


I have never stayed to watch a cockfight, although they have gone on around me. The 55 was just a test, to see if I could be terse.


Junosmom said...

Ah, so you haven't taken up keeping chickens?

Sepiru Chris said...


That picture, while it suited the story, was for you.