Sunday, October 5, 2008

the Finnish threat is safely gone

Gratuitous image of Lordi to keep Scandinavian and German fans happy, and to placate Mr. Lordi et al, from a 'Time Out New York' e-article found at the photographer is unknown
Dear Gentle Reader,

At the time of the last posting we had a Finn arriving and anxieties were running high.  

Your Heroine, your Hero, and even your humble scribe were worried about precipitation here in Hong Kong and its resulting effects on our guest.  
Both wolfsbane and garlic were being stockpiled for fear of another Lordi incident just in case "the Finn" received insufficient visual stimulation due to rain and visibility levels.

Up until "the Finn" was on the express train to the airport, having already checked into his flight to return home to Singapore (wow, Hong Kong has the best airport ever), the weather held admirably.  

Now, of course, we have received an official strong monsoon warning, an amber rainstorm warning, a thunderstorm warning, and notice that the rainpersimmons will be trying to batter through the windows, again (see Update No. 7, when the rainpersimmons came armed, or Update No. 5 on the initial appearance of the rainpersimmons).

Your humble scribe thinks that the weather gods were just as worried about Finnish forms and norms (see the previous post, Prayers for no rain; the Finnish threat, and Lordi) (or the picture above) as everyone else in our home was.

Now, a couple of you doubted the seriousness of the Lordi threat.  

"Gentle scribe", you wrote me, "How dangerous can Finns be?  They are from Finnland!".  (Please note, gentle reader, that fish are from Finnland while Finns are from Finland.  I know.  It seems nonsensical to your humble scribe also. Once again the obscurities of English are laid bare for all to see.) 

"As long as you don't ask Finns to sing, try to take their beer, or deny them their sauna, they are mostly harmless, aren't they?" the innocent ones amongst you queried me.  

Ask the Russians is all I say.  

Look what happened the last time Finland thought the world wasn't paying enough attention to them and to Finland's corporate wunderkind, Nokia...  

Finland unleashed the monstrous brainpower of Matti Makkonen and he invented SMS technology (text messaging on cell phones/mobiles/handies/dagedas/choose-your-linguistic-preference). 

Now I cannot get through an hour without having my bum starting to buzz and sing as people send my cell phone text messages.  

Beware the Finns, is all I can say.

Our Finn had a swallow's nest ripped from a wall, boiled, and then strained so that we could all sample bird's nest soup.  

Quite nice, really, although it did raise an interesting moral question...

Is "Bird's Nest Soup" vegetarian or not?  

I mean, there is no meat involved...  

No bird is necessarily harmed in its preparation...

In fact, it is better if the bird is free to fly away to spit up on grass and make another new nest for another soup another day...

So, is "Bird's Nest Soup" vegetarian or not?

Anyways, all remained safe with the world, and most especially with your Heroine, your Hero, and your humble scribe.  

But, I must admit, we did take some precautionary measures.  

We fed "the Finn" a fair bit of vegetarian fare, thinking that if you are what you eat, "The Finn" would become docile like a lamb.  

No jokes about being a vegetable if you eat vegetables, since we do that a lot here in our home.

And with that, your humble scribe has to go lavish some attention on his Vegetable Queen, your Heroine, Regina, and upon your Hero, the ferociously napping Pommes, now that the Finnish threat is gone.

Your humble scribe, your relaxed Heroine, and your sleeping Hero


jjdebenedictis said...

*waves* Hi Chris! (& Regina! & Pommes!)

Very fun blog you have here! I've linked to both of your blogs on my blog now (not that I get any traffic, but hey--every little bit helps, right?) and added you to my Google Reader list because it is less senile than me and will remember how to find this place again. :-)

Andrew and I hope you're all doing well!

Elizabeth said...

finns - always bring to mind birch sapling lashings after hot saunas. dangerous but delightful.

Sepiru Chris said...


You might be partially right, regarding the lashings. I think Finns should draw to mind lashings.

But, I think you need to go to the previous post, Prayers for no rain; the Finnish threat, and Lordi, where it says something like "they have a tendency to develop badly, and bad things like this can happen".

Hit that link.

Keep the sound on.

Don't skip it, watch the intro.

These are real Finns.

The truth is now "out here".

Sorry to shatter your idealism... (delightful? snort!)

Ask the Russians what they think of those "delightful" Finns. Not giving up their land. Only relinquishing that nickel mine under massive duress...

With affection,
Your humble scribe